When you live your life as vibrantly and colourfully as I do, you’re bound to attract attention and the odd question here and there. I don’t mind answering questions, but some frequent questions I’m asked make me raise my eyebrows due to how tactless they can seem, even if the person asking isn’t meaning to be rude.
So without further ado, here’s 5 questions I don’t like being asked and why.
1) “Is that your real hair?”
Yes, and please stop asking me or anyone else that.
I’m aware blue hair has a bit of a bad reputation as far as maintenance goes – I get asked if my hair is a wig on a number of occasions due to how vibrant it is. I’ve been asked three times this week alone.
But it’s really not very nice to ask people if their hair is real/a wig or not.
I’m aware this question has racial connotations for people of colour, but I’m not going to touch on that as it’s not my place (but still, don’t ask people if their hair is real), and instead I’m going to ask people consider this from a health point of view.
I’ve known a few people afflicted by cancer and others who have forms of alopecia. Some people choose to wear wigs, some go without (I’m in the camp of you do whatever makes you feel good), but it’s a touchy subject for some. Hair is deeply tied to presenting feminine and feeling beautiful for a lot of people and it could make them uncomfortable being confronted by questions about their hair from strangers or people they don’t consider close friends.
So please, if you’ve ever asked someone who you don’t know very well if that’s their hair or if they’re wearing a wig, maybe just don’t ask that anymore? My hair might be real, but it could be a touchy subject if you ask the wrong person.
2) “Your wardrobe/that dress is so expensive, how do you afford it?”
Money questions make me feel icky. Always have. I’m trying to unravel some of these feelings as I get older, but for now, it still makes me feel icky.
I’m aware of how privileged I am that I can afford to buy new/new to me clothes on a fairly regular basis, but asking people about their finances/how they spend their money isn’t a polite question, regardless of their financial situation.
Basically, I set aside money each payday to buy clothes, I buy a lot of stuff on sale and I’ve been building up my wardrobe for a few years now. The husband and I are privileged enough/lucky enough that we have few other financial concerns at this stage in our lives, but I’m well aware not everyone is in our situation.
3) “Your lifestyle seems very high maintenance, how do you find the time?”
I hate this question for two reasons. One is that the answer is I make time. I wake up at a time in the morning that allows me to do my hair and makeup every day. There’s no grand secret to my routine.
Two, I hate the term “high maintenance” and what is essentially shaming people for the amount of time or effort they put into things like hair, makeup and clothes. We all have different priorities with how we spend our time, and in this day and age we need to do away with the idea that spending time on things like hair, makeup and clothes is more frivolous than other hobbies that make people feel good about themselves.
4) “What does your husband think of your style?”
He’s fine with it?
How I present myself has basically nothing to do with my husband, same as how he presents himself has basically nothing to do with me. It was a bit of a change for him to get used to at first (I was very much a jeans and t-shirt kinda gal about three or four years ago), but if it makes me happy, he’s happy.
5) “Gosh you’re so brave, I could never dress the way you do.”
I know this isn’t really a question, but I get told it often enough that it sets my teeth on edge.
When you dress eccentrically, bravery only comes into play when you first get into it. Then it becomes the norm. The only difference between you and everyone else is that you chose to wear whatever bright, colourful or wonderfully weird thing it is you’re wearing, and they didn’t.
So if you’re looking for permission to start dressing differently, I give you permission. Be free! Dress how you want! Life is too short to be hung up on what other people think!
And that’s this short list on questions I hate being asked. What questions do you get asked all the time that grind your gears? Let me know!
Lots of love,
Mrs Greatnews xx