I love Christmas. So very very much, but my husband is a Christmas Grinch. There’s no ifs, ands or buts about it, he’s not a fan of Christmas and no matter how hard I’ve tried, I can’t get him to find a reason to get excited about the season. So I thought I’d see if I could see inside his icy, Grinchy heart and figure out what he has against Christmas.
Libby: On a scale of one to ten, one being the Grinchiest Grinch and ten being Santa Claus, how Christmassy are you?
Haydn: Eh, a three or a four.
Libby: What don’t you like about Christmas?
Haydn: It’s not that I don’t like Christmas, it’s just some of the things around it that I find frustrating. I don’t like buying presents. I don’t like Christmas music, it’s all terrible. It’s the same three songs by 700 desperate artists! I don’t like how inescapable Christmas is. Once the season starts, there’s a tree in your house, a tree at work, a tree at every bloody shop you go to and 30 pounds of junk mail to go with it all! The last one isn’t so much a grievance against Christmas as just something I find ridiculous in general.
Libby: What do you like about Christmas?
Haydn: I like that some people who are really into it put a massive effort into it. Like the houses that do Christmas lights. I like that it’s a catalyst for people to be more decent to one another. I like that I get to see my family and that heaps of other people get to too. Also it’s the longest period of time most people get off all year, so that’s something to look forward to.
Libby: What’s your favourite Christmas tradition?
Haydn: The coolest tradition for me was always opening stockings when we were kids. My brother and I would wake up early and open them together and eat candy for breakfast. It was a great way to start the morning.
Libby: What’s your least favourite Christmas tradition?
Haydn: Ugh, Christmas cake. It’s the demon’s cake. I am ambivalent about fruit mince pies, for the record.
Libby: What’s the best Christmas present you’ve ever received?
Haydn: A trampoline from a billion years ago. My brother and I used that until it was dead.
Libby: Why don’t you like Christmas?
Haydn: It’s a combination of all the “whats” I don’t like about Christmas, the feeling of inevitability of the year ended, time wasted and feeling like I’ve grown older without achieving anything for the year. It’s an impending doom of sorts.
Libby: Could anyone change your mind about hating Christmas?
Haydn: No. I mean, you’ve tried really hard over the years and you haven’t succeeded.
Libby: If you could change one thing about Christmas, what would it be?
Haydn: If no one had to sit in the car for hours on Christmas Day or the surrounding days, I think that would be a huge improvement. Teleporters for everyone!
So there you have it! Some insight into why my husband is a Christmas Grinch. Do you have any Grinches in your family? On a scale of one to ten, how Christmassy are you?
Lots of love,
Mrs Greatnews xx